Inconversible Thoughts

Shutter Island

I’ve never been the biggest supporter of Leonardo DiCaprio, even back in the baby-faced days of Titanic. And though I approached this movie with a somewhat negative bias, Leonardo did give a convincing performance in Shutter Island.

The movie begins as Federal Marshal Teddy Daniels is sent to Shutter Island to investigate a missing-persons case. Not generally something worth the attention of a Federal Marshal, however Rachel seems to have escaped the worlds most protected asylum for the criminally insane; escaping from a locked room, without shoes and escaping from a jail on an island in the middle of the ocean. It just doesn’t happen.

The movie is set out on a panoramic surrounding with some great panning shots to show us the size of the task that Teddy faces. Without giving too much away, later in this movie the size of the surroundings gives way to a lot more. Set in the surrounds of the 1950’s just after the second World War, Teddy is having flashbacks to a Nazi death camp in which he and a bunch of other men shot dead more people than he could morally justify.

With his partner in toe, Chuck, the duo begin working their way towards the truth behind Shutter Island. A story wrapped up in ensnaring truths and a reasonably unpredictable plot, as the movie progresses we see the violent and dangerous side of the insane patients, who slowly turn on the Marshal.

The movie is full of some great detail, from the giant storm that drowns the island throughout the movie, through to the minute twitches you may notice on DiCapreo’s face, it seems every detail was gone over with a fine tooth comb. The audio is great with the splintering roar of trees crashing throughout the hurricane through to the hallowed footsteps through the damp concrete basement of Ward C.

The movie begins soaked in some bright colours, but as the movie unfolds the hurricane beating at the island also drowns our screens in darkness, which is only broken up between the photosensitivity caused by Teddy’s migraine. In the end we know these bright flashes are not just a migraine, but the truth. As the storm in the sky, and in Teddy’s head comes to a calm, we see the return of these bright colours, great costumes and good hues.

No expense was spared in location, costuming or design and overall, the cinemagraphic aspect of this movie was sound. This is what we come to expect from Scorsese who direct this. On the flipside, I do think that the plot itself wasn’t anything award-winning. Let’s wait to see if I was wrong.

I won’t delve into this yet, I don’t want this to be a spoiler. But let’s just see if this pans out to be the great movie we hoped

Cheap Eating

Today I went shopping and purchased:

• 2 bags of pasta
• 2 jars of pasta sauce
• a loaf of bread
• 2 litres of lactose free milk
• a box of cereal

I went home and made the pasta into a meal and ate it for dinner. It also gave me 6 extra meals to put in the freezer. The loaf of bread will last me a week for lunches and the cereal the same for breakfast.

It cost me $23.30 to feed myself for a week. This is $3.30 per day. Win.

+bread toppings
+ cheese for pasta

40 Hour Famine, 2010

If you are in Adelaide then I urge you to read this to the end. It may just be something you are interested in.

It is estimated that  in the north eastern Uganda area alone there are 1.2 million people in need of food and shelter. Food issues can affect anyone living below the poverty line, as many people in third world and developing countries do. There is a big onus on developed countries and its citizens to help those that are not as privileged.

In 2009 I participated in The Worlds Greatest Shave raising over $1000 to go towards cancer research and support. I was going to do the same this year, however after contemplating it for a long time I decided that I would instead put my efforts and time towards raising money for those that need it more- those in third world countries such as Uganda.

If you have received this then it means I need your help. I’m not asking you to donate money, no not yet! What I want instead is your abilities and know-how. Please read on and see if you are able to assist me.

What I aim to organise is a camping weekend- spreading out over 2 nights to occur at an undefined location around Adelaide. There will be a set entry fee which will include the bare essentials (including camping ground fee). The money that remains above this from each person will be donated towards a charity of choice. At the moment the [very rough] estimate is that the cost itself is about $15 per person, anything above this is donate able. For example, a $50 entry fee would see a $35 donation per person: if we could get 50 people to do this then that is $1750 already. It all adds up: the more people not only the more money we raise, but the better time we would have!

The idea at the moment is to have the weekend as a ’40 Hour Famine’ weekend: no food, no alcohol. Just water and barely sugar. We would also request that electronic devices are switched off for the entirety of the weekend: no mobile phones, no laptops, no facebook, no twitter and no contact. This minimalistic lifestyle is exactly what many people live day by day doing, and we want to impress this upon the people participating.

How can you help? There are three ways you can help:

-Participate! The first, and most obvious, is come along once all the details are smoothed out. It will be near the middle of the year, so that there is plenty of time for organising and arranging things, so dates aren’t yet decided!

-Secondly if you have access to resources such as tents, sleeping bags, etc (such as through Scouts, Guides, etc) then this could be very helpful. As organising gets under way we will be approaching certain places to lend a hand, but if you have access to anything that could lend a hand this early on we are well on our way!

-Last of all, and possibly the most important, is your networking skills! Only be getting this event out there and happening will we see money being raised and people participating! Remember, we’re not asking people to go out and try and raise dollars, just get a group of friends to come along .If you and, say, 5 friends were to come then that’s 6 people! That’s already [about] $210 raised!

According to World Vision, “Every $40 helps 5 children for 1 month”.

So, where to from here? All I need at this point is a show of who would even be interested in helping out. You’re welcome to reply but if you could email mcgee210@gmail.com to let me know, this would be appreciated.

PLEASE guys, show your support for such a great cause as helping a third world nation.

Fiona O’Laughlin, Adelaide Fringe Review

I always thought that Fiona O’Laughlin was one of the funniest women on the Australian stage. Whether it was seeing her on a comedy festival, on Good News Week or some other show, she never failed to make me laugh. I went to her show tonight as part of the Adelaide Fringe Festival, and as much as I am reluctant to say it, I think her time is nearly up.

Famous for collapsing on stage and coming out as an Alcoholic at the end of 2009, Fiona has been on a long road to recovery ever since. Starting to attend Alcoholics Anonymous, she is very obviously trying to get things on track for her family and her self. I have to say that she has some big balls to do what she did. Brushing aside the public story that was released by Channel 7 about the reasons behind the collapse, she full on admitted her problems to the world and has been battling with it ever since. While it may be part of her recovery, as part of the audience tonight I feel she used me more for her own therapy than for what she was paid to do.

The arena is somewhat spectacular. Very cozy, very small and very Fringe. The stained glass windows surrounding the tent roof made it look spectacular, however the unfortunate downfall was the sound setup. Her microphone was obviously not setup correctly and while at points I could barely hear her, other points my ears rang with the deafening jump in volume. This, I blame more on the stage manager. Fiona, well, she had her own problems to worry about.

As she came out on stage she opened with the story of her collapse, wrapping it up in  a joke here or there. She was obviously nervous, and even admitted that this was one of only three shows she had performed sober. I was very used to the slurring, sarcastic and very witty remarks being thrown out of Fi’s mouth previously, but now, sober, all that was coming out was a strange voice with somewhat shaky laughter and a pitch that just wouldn’t settle.

The show progressed nicely with some very funny jokes and anecdotes of her life and family and as she was assured by our laughter her nerves seemed to settle a lot. We heard the story of her rock-bottom alcoholic experience, which prompted her to get help, and then as we started being lead on a long and not-so-entertaining story of her entire family tree the show seemed to plateau. The drunken groups of people scattered throughout the show still seemed to be having a great time, but as I looked around the tent I could see that most people barely had a smile on their face.

I think after performing for close to ten years as a drunken hilarity, Fiona needs to realise that the same lines and the same jokes don’t wash when said sober. I did note, also, that some of her material was recycled. It may simply be because I am an avid lover of her comedic style, but one particular story she told had been used on numerous occasions. It was funny the first time while you were sloshing your words, but now with the shaky voice it just seemed strained.

Her show soon picked up pace again as she battled for our attention, this time turning to a religious topic. If you don’t know how a catholic sermon works going into the show, you’ll have a better understanding coming out. For a show that is meant to be about comedy and laughs, I’m not sure if this is such a good thing. Either way, through a few laughs and almost a tear in my eye I now know how her Uncle died, how old her grandfather is, and her sister has 9 children.

The show came to a close with a personal story of Fiona’s that did pull a reasonable laugh from the audience, although it was certainly no performance worth an encore, or a reasonable applause. I think that as she quickly ran of stage and through the back door, she knew this.

While I realise that a lot of this post seems to be slamming her, I want to point out that what Fiona has done is absolutely inspirational. To be able to publicly shame herself, admitting that she suffers from alcoholism is more than half of any of us could ever do in our lives. While she no longer pulls the laughs like she used to, I am happy to see that her life is getting on, healthily.

It was just sad to see that a lot of the stories she told, which had potential to be funny, were ruined by her obvious nerves, poor delivery and what seemed like she was second guessing herself. While looking back at the performances she delivered under the influence, her words were never forgotten nor the lines broken. Tonight’s performance, however, showed more than one joke on the very of ruin simply because she couldn’t remember the words that went wherever.

It may have been my empathy towards her which held me back from laughing. I realise that laughter is sometimes the best medicine, but I cannot always justify laughing at someone simply because they laugh at themselves. Opening up with ‘I’m an alcoholic’ and expecting people to be in stitches doesn’t seem to be the game plan that a comedian should approach. I hope that by the next time she visits, Fiona has sorted herself out and come up with a better idea for a tour.

I hope that her next few performances at the Fringe are better, that her nerves settle down. I saw Judith Lucy last year and left the arena still laughing. I hope that people can do the same for Fiona this year. Good luck to her!

HardChorus I’ll be your Fantasy

I just had to post this, I stumbled upon it and laughed. I think it’s brilliant!

Faith: Move A Mountain

I’ve often heard the idea of ‘faith’ being knocked by non-religious folk, saying that it is nothing more than an idealistic joke for brain washed followers. I question this.

There is an old saying that says “faith can move mountains”. In fact, it is scripture as part of the New Testament, if that is the religion you follow. When was the last time a mountain was moved? Well, in the last 21 years of my existence not a single one.

But hey, why not start small? In the name of faith the twin towers were demolished through a seemingly easy manoeuvre by a religiously fanatic group, in the name of their god, and yet we still question faith.

The problem with faith [and it is only a problem when things like this occur] is that it does not matter whether you believe or do not believe in god. Faith only needs to be one way.

Do I have faith? I wish I could say I do, but I don’t. To have complete and utter belief in something without questioning it… welll that goes against everything I am. I question things without question, as it is.

A Dream

So I have just woken up and I needed to put this down in words. I’ve had the craziest mofo of a dream.

It took place in Chaffey, the suburb of Renmark where I grew up. It was completely geographically correct, used people who I know very well from that area and was unbelievably real. Well, except the bit where we jumped forward in time.

It started off with my father and I baking pizzas . Lots and lots of pizzas. We were putting on a party for everyone and each person got their own pizza. As the night progressed people rocked up and as people started drinking more it was almost time to start handing out the pizzas.

But then gun shots, many man gun shots echoed out around the walls surrounding us and as I walked out my father was standing amidst the bodies of all the other people who had died. He had just murdered the 30+ people around us.

I ran for it. Seeing me run off, he followed. My father isn’t the quickest runner so I easily outran him this time, but it would be only a matter of time before he could catchup.

Running up to Cooltong (up the hill) I escaped any possibility of running into him. Doubling around, I had to get into the town centre, which was going directly past my fathers. Creeping through some vines that were across the road from his, I ran into a man called Andrew.

“Your father is looking for you” he told me, grabing my arm. I resisted and told him he didn’t know what was going on and that my father had just killed people. He wouldn’t believe me, saying it wasn’t in my fathers reach to do such a thing. I told him I could prove it, and so we quickly snuck around the back of my fathers and I pointed out all the dead people lying around. His only response was “oh shit”. We bolted, but soon my father was on to us.

It seemed that next we came across a fairly fast flowing, shallow creek flowing through a residential area. We jumped in and swam downstream, being carried quicker by the current. Knowing my father couldn’t swim he wouldn’t be able to follow us.

It kinda got a bit surreal from here. Soon Andrew actually turned into this teenage looking elf (like LOTR elf, not like a house elf or Christmas elf). As we got towards the end of the creek we came up to a large grid where the water ran off under ground. The elf stood up on it and asked the earth to help us. It didn’t.

We got out of the water and could hear his car approaching. We were on same large area of grass with small houses surrounding us, like a park or something. Deciding to try and lock ourselves away rather than keep running we went into a public toilet and looked the door.

When my father reached us he took a sledge hammer and tried to knock the door down. Luckily it held, but soon after repeated bashing it began to slip. We pulled the door open and barged forward, knocking him over.

That’s where the dream ended. Like, who knows. My father tried to kill me.

For the record, my father has never tried to kill me, nor has he ever killed anyone else ^_^ It’s as fictitious as the elf.

2 Laws That Should Be Introduced But Never Will Be

The following are two laws that I think should be introduced, but never will be. You’ll probably be offended.

1. Squirt Guns for Non Smokers

I think that all non smokers should be allowed to use a super soaker of some sort and squirt smokers if they’re lighting up in front of them, or walking on front of them. You want to smoke? Do it away from me. Sure, you have the right to smoke but don’t I have the right not to be smoked around? Killing yourself is your own business but I am sick to death of sitting at a cafe and being chocked in smoke, or walking down the street and spluttering on second hand smoke as I go. The moment this law comes into play I’ll be buying myself a nice super soaker and getting all you little fuckers.

2. Hit-And-Run Fatties

I think it should be perfectly ok to knock fast-food out of the hands of fat people. While I am not against fat people per se I am against those that are fat out of mere poor-diet-and-lack-of-excercise. If they are that obese, then they shouldn’t be scoffing down that big mac. The worst one was when I worked at McDonalds on Hindley Street we used to have this fatty on one of those old-people-scooters come in and order two large meals for himself. From a business perspectve I wasn’t going to refuse to serve him, but I wanted to slip some sleeping pills in his patties and lipo him while he was under. Put the fucking food down, fatties.

Do You Support Charity?

Consider for a moment how much you spend on yourself each year. This depends, of course, on how much you earn, how much you value materials, how much you like to holiday, the list is really endless. But, essentially, it is a large amount.

Up until recently I was earning $45 000 per annum. Not an overly large amount, yet for someone who, at the time, had no tertiary education behind them I was comfortable with this. Now propose that beside bills and rent, the remainder of this was going on me. Let’s say about $35 000. Holidays, improving my house, clothes, etc. Some things that we call ‘essentials’ and other things frivelous buys. Out of this $35 000 I wonder exactly how much I donated to charity, and especially to those that support third world charities.

On the occasion I would flip a few coins into a buskers guitar case, sometimes pop a coin or four into the collection box at a fast food restaurant. In 2009 I also raised a few grand for cancer research, with a few dollars coming out of my own pocket. In total, maybe about a hundred dollars over the course of the year.

I estimate not very much. I also take the liberty to assume that I am ‘normal’, and this practice is the norm. While sure, some people donate hundreds or thousands of dollars, many people do not donate anything.

But I would like to donate more. Well, ‘do it’ you may say and to this, I say I am lazy. I also say that I am not always confident placing my money in the hands of ‘charities’ in which the money does not always reach those that I intend to help (aka World Vision-esque organisations). What I would be more confident doing is placing my money in a trust and having a) interest earn from it b)others add to this trust c)it being delivered directly to those in need.

From the estimate above I do not even donate 1% of my annual gross income, but if I did I would be personally contributing approximately $450 (currently) to this ‘account’. Admittedly come Friday and this is going to drop down to approximately $100. Don’t worry about this at the moment.

Let’s take a company where people are earning about $45, and let’s say they have 450 people working for them. This is an average size business with an average wage. If each of these people donated just 1% of their earnings- a very small amount- to this trust account, they would be contributing $202500 per annum. This is huge!

Imagine this now, opening up from these 450 workers to the 21 million other people in Australia.. sure not all of them work but out of those millions, millions do work. We’re talking millions and millions of dollars, all of which is in a great name.

It would need to start small. A few dollars in a bank account, where people start contributing. I would like to see this change in the world, and of course in Australia.

Eating Cheap

Most mornings when I approached work I would get a boost juice ($6) for breakfast. Some mornings I would treat my self to a muffin ($4) and an Emma and Toms drink ($4) instead. Over a week, this was generally about $30.

For lunch I would generally buy myself subway (~$8), Oporto ($11), sumo salad (8) and on occasion I would get Sumo Salad plus a muffin and drink (total $16). This would be about $50 for a week.

I don’t eat all that much for dinner and am often content with something small like some pasta ($5/serve) or rice and meat (also $5/serve). For dessert I would have ice cream or something similar, going through a tub or two a week (small tubs, $8 for my brand). In total dinner and dessert is about $51 a week.

In total this is about $131 per week on food which is absolutely outrageous. This is a habit that I realised I needed to stop, and so began working on curbing it. I want to be get my food costs down to below $50 per week for while I’m at uni, which means that I’m going to be living off less than half my current spending. I need to accumulate approximately $81 of savings each week.

Swapping my $30/week drinks at breakfast for a box of cereal and a litre of milk I’ve cut down to about $7 per week (save $23).

For lunch and dinner I’m going to have to start looking at cooking en mass and freezing it. This is best for things like pasta, curry, rice dishes, etc. For instance on Monday night I made a curry which made 4 serves. I had one for dinner and one for lunch, and froze the rest. This curry cost me $15 to make (could be cheaper with cheaper brands) and serves four. That’s $3.75 per serving. Doing this a bit and having these meals for both lunch and dinner is going to bring me to a total of about $45 per week. (save $56). So far looks like I’m saving about $79.

Just $2 off the amount I want to save per week! Buying a loaf of bread and having some sandwiches for lunch occasionally ($.50 lunch) is also going to save me considerably.

It’s amazing looking back at just the thought that I used to spend easily over $100 on food per week. This was the same weather I ate out, as mentioned above, or went to the shops and did a big shop. I certainly can’t live like that at uni, nor did I live like that at school!