Often I get asked by people online ?so what you looking for??. I often cringe at this question. Personally, I think there is nothing worse than someone who is out there ?looking? for something.

Random hook-ups aside- most people live their lives under the impression that they will eventually find a partner and settle down. This is the hetero-normative monogamous template that the Catholic church imprinted upon the world centuries ago: our Governments now simply follow suit. This isn?t for everyone.

Around the world there is a whole bunch of alternate lifestyles to marrying someone: defacto, polygamy, poly-amorous, single? the list does go on. Although, I will point out, I am swayed enough from birth that I do want to end up with someone eventually.

My biggest problem is that I get along with very few people in a romantic sense- something that will last more than a few days. Why? I suppose I like to have conversations that go beyond a few words, and I like guys who can be dependent or independent depending on the way the wind is blowing. We all know I have a problem with my attitude.

So, why do I hate the question ?what are you looking for??. I suppose it?s the idea that it conjures in my head. If you are looking for something, then you must have in your head a picture of what you are looking for. If you are aiming for a goal, you?re going to be trying to force as many circles and squares through your triangle-shaped hole. That is to say, you?re probably going to grab the next-best thing that comes along.
That?s fine for some people, but I do not want the next-best thing. I want the one that fits perfectly beside me.

Now, don?t get me wrong. I?m not looking for ?the perfect person?. When I say I want someone that fits perfectly with me, I mean I want someone who I can be comfortable around. Someone who?s fingers feel right between my own. Someone who makes me smile.

In today?s world, I believe that if you find someone who you have passionate feelings for, and you both feel comfortable around each other then there should be no excuse for being together: while the pressures of the world may seem to want to get in the way, it is up to both people to ignore these and to be with just each other.

Love is a mix of emotion, and it needs to be reached, not found. In it?s fullest extent, it takes a lifetime worth of journey to get there: and you?ve got to start somewhere.