Brodhe,

I have a friend who is going around hurting other people, including breaking up relationships. He has a ‘list’ of guys he wants to sleep with just for the ‘fun’ of it. I stand by and have to clean up the trail of destruction left behind. What should I do?

Anon.

It sounds like your dealing with someone who has a lot of growing up, mentally, to do. The pattern of behaviour isn’t anything out of the ordinary for a lot of people when they first start on the scene- coming out, partying, etc.

It is often painful to watch someone do this not only to other people, but also to themselves. They play people and they bounce from one person to the other.

To answer your question simple, what should you do? Nothing. Unless they are seriously putting their life at risk, let them get it out of their system. They are young and probably just getting the experience they think they need.
While it may hurt you, and the people around you, you simply need to remove yourself from the line of fire.

In regards to cleaning up the destruction after them… don’t. Be there to support the people they hurt but don’t go around defending them or bailing them out financially/emotionally. This will simply encourage the behaviour.

Let them be made accountable for the chaos they cause.

And just hope that they don’t cross someone who has been in the same situation, and knows how to deal with it. They will get hurt.

Good luck,
B

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