One upon a time had a woman stepped onto the tram I would have been expected to give her my seat. In fact, I would have given her my seat out of respect for her. You see, before our time the thing called ‘trust’ was freely given to people: family, neighbours, strangers alike. Nowadays it seems that not only are we somewhat afraid to give it out to those people that we don’t know, but some people even refuse to give it to their parents and sublings!

I do not show the respect that was once deemed the norm, but I do believe I am polite and respectful more than some others that I have witnessed. I do give up my chair for people on trains and trams, and I have helped a little old lady across the road once. I don’t swear too often, and I don’t chew with my mouth open or yell and scream at other people. I keep my head down, and I do what I need to do. In all honesty, in these situations I live by a small mantra: “respect is given, not earnt”.

I suppose this may be more prevalent amongst todays Generation Y, where moral and political-correctness has gone so far as shaping the way parents may punish their children. Once upon a time had a child been rude to a superior (adult, stranger, etc) they would have received a flogging or the cane or something else to reinforce the idea of subordinate and superior. These days children scream, cuss and throw tantrums until they are blue- and don’t seem to have much “respect” to throw around. I’ve seen teenagers yelling at people “you gotta earn my respect” and the similar. I’m sure others have to! Why? Why do people need to earn your respect? What makes you so special that your respect is worth something more than other peoples respect?

The same goes with someone who you are about to enter a relationship with. Where did this notion that trust must be earnt come from? Sure, the questions all run through your head: are they going to cheat? what is their history like? Are they going to hurt me? They are the things that we all think- but if you let them run the relationship then you have doomed it yourself.

Why not give them the benefit of the doubt and give them your full respect? You start of on a great footing, you have faith in them and unless they hurt you then you’re on a clear path. Sure, if they *do* hurt you, then it can cut deep. But isn’t this one of the benefits of being such a being, we can heal?

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