Dear King xxxxx
c/o Mawson Lakes KFC
(CC: Emma @ Yum Restaurants)

Thank you for finally getting back to me. I can only imagine how busy you must be ruling the kingdom of KFC. I do want to express my disappointment that it has taken 43 days for the store to make contact. I checked my inbox today, and in the last 43 days, I have sent over 3000 emails. I find it amusing that you could not find the time to send one. But, as you signed your last email, you ARE King Pheobe after all.

In the email that you have managed to get through, you have not addressed my initial concern, nor resolved the complaint at hand. My complaint was in regards to improperly prepared & handled food, and the lack of refresher towels that were placed in my bag.

In your reply you did not address this at all, however found it pertinant to let me know that one of your crew members is now clean shaven. Thank you very much for letting me know. In return, I will let you know that there are 7 clean shaven men in my office today.

Thank you also for the standard offer of replacing my meal. After such a bad experience with KFC Mawson Lakes, which has now panned out near 2 months, I doubt I will be returning soon and such the offer of a replacement meal will probably go to waste.

Also, your email had 12 (from first count) mistakes in it. A little abrasive for 4 sentences, however I totally understand where you are coming from. If I was a King, I wouldn’t bother with making spelling and grammatical corrections either. For your help in the future though, below is a link to a grammar couse which you might be interested in:
http://www.studynow.com.au/courses/Lifestyle-Learning-Direct/Essential-English-Grammar.html

Your email was also signed off with a phone number and instructions to contact you if I felt like further communication. Once more I am left disappointed by your wit. If I had the need, want or ability to communicate with you verbally, do you not think I would have done this in the first instance? For all you know, I could be a mute. In fact, for all you know I could be a mute midget travelling around with a circus entertaining cancer-stricken childen. I’m not, I simply prefer communication via email- a trusted and traceable source.

Ultimately I would love for your store to compensate me for this time. I feel though that this would be outside of your jurisdiction. Even a mighty monarch can only do so much. So, in closing, I hope you have a long and prosperous reign. Though personally I believe the only true King is Simba and his heirs.

Long live the King.

Brodie McGee

KFC Mawson Lakes wrote:

Hi Brodie

My name is xxxxx from KFC Mawson Lakes i would like to start be apologising for your experience that you have had with us and i would like to talk to you in person but your hours dont allow that. So what i would like to say is that i have spoken to the manager on duty and he is now clean shaven. for the inconvenience of the experience next time you come in i would like to offer you a replacement meal on us. if you wish to discuss the incident with me any further please dont hesitate to call me on xxxxxxx

King Regards

Phoebe Mills

KFC Mawson Lakes