On my Youtube channel (mcgee210) I received a comment this week in regards to my ?Coming Out? video that I posted.
The video itself is an 8 minute long recount of how I came out back in High School, and was to be placed on a new website which I was trying to start This is My Coming Out Story. A girl called BritForever21 decided to comment on the site saying

Why did you choose to be gay? It?s a choice and you had girlfriends in the past. You might be bi

Ignoring the fact that this strange girl is known among the Youtube collective to harass gay guys and try to insult people who don?t fit the ?normal? mould, I think she has a good point.

Obviously, I don?t believe that half the statement is valid: It is not a choice whether or not you are gay. This is not something we can dictact, and people who have spent an entire lifetime trying to ignore the fact of their orientation are good tribute to this. What IS a choice is to act on the feelings. While sometimes the feelings that we have can seem so overwhelming that not to act on them would seem like emotional suicide, we as humans possess the ability to think logically and therefore over ride such emotional outbursts. (Spoken like a Vulcan, probably).

But still, I press on. It isn?t even the above choice which made me think about her comment so much, but the idea that I used to have girlfriends. More than an idea, I suppose. It actually happened, and I wouldn?t be against it happening again.

The giant man supposedly sitting atop all the clouds laughing at us all [God] knows that I am not the straightest acting person on this planet, hell he also knows that I?m not the gayest guy either. My straight friends say that I?m gay acting, my gayer friends say that I?m straighter acting. Catch 22. But I guess my point is that the possibility is still there.

So now, 2 things. 1. Why then do I call myself ?gay?? and 2. Isn?t it a choice?
1. What?s in the name?

When I first came out I used the term bi, and I found myself going against the grain not only for straight people as I now admitted to liking the same sex, but also by those who identified as gay and lesbian, as I still held onto ideals that I liked the opposite sex. Dubbed ?biphobia?, it is supposedly one of the biggest areas of harassment even within the queer community itself. Following suit from all those movies where a ?half breed? is shunned from both sides of the gene pool for not being ?the same?, often people who identify as bisexual get crap from all over the place.

The reasons vary vastly from ?you just haven?t made up your mind yet? through to ?it?s a phase? or ?you just haven?t found the right girl/guy?. Even ?you?re just greedy? or the all time stereotype of bisexual people simply being players.

It isn?t often that people who identify as being bisexual are considered to be in their own orientation: people try to pigeonhole everyone as either gay or straight, and it is hard for people to grasp a third group where you can like both.

Why did I go through all of this? Well, in the beginning this is why I did not stay as ?bi? for long. I was happy to be with guys without chasing girls as well, and so I settled for one rather than the other. As the years continue, I realised that there are even more sexualities than Gay/Straight/Bi. With the newly included types osuch as ?pansexual ? and the rest of the alphabet GLBTTIQQFSP (Gay, Lebsian, Bi, Transexual, transger, Intersex, Queer, Questioning, Fluid, Straight,Pansexual) there was more room for movement between the groups.

Still unsure exactly what I am today, I choose to go by either Fluid or Pansexual: the idea that I don?t have to be exclusively committed to liking just a gender, or sexual identity makes me more rested.

2. Isn?t it a choice?
I like the idea of this question: If a person is bisexual, can?t they simply choose to go only for girls? Not bother about the unnatural urges that they have?
Well, this is a good question, and something that could be debated about for a long time. Without a single doubt in my mind, I think the answer is a simple ?yes, it is a choice?, and undoubtedly millions of people who are bisexual all over the world and throughout history have made this choice. But, I think it can be teased out a lot more than that.

I want to propose the idea of ?what is bisexuality?. I think most of us are quick to answer with ?it is when you like males and females?. In essence, it is. Leading on to ?who is bisexual??. Studies back in the 1950?s that were conducted showed that the majority of people are bisexual, and that people simply do not act on these feelings, or that the feelings may not rise to the surface as we live in a society that shuns them.
With this in mind, I believe that everyone who does identify as bisexual does not have the choice of being bisexual or not, but the choice to act on the feelings for people of the same sex.

please comment, I would really like peoples thoughts on this
1. Do you have feelings for only guys, only girls or both? How do you know? If both, do you act on both?
2. Do you think it is a choice?